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I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy (Part One)

I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy (Part One)

Yesterday I was planning on releasing a new podcast episode with one of my dear friends, all about intuition and running a business as a mystic entrepreneur.

But I couldn’t do that yesterday.

Because this past weekend a white supremacist rally took place in the US and it’s all that’s on my mind.

So today I want to share my thoughts on racism, sacred activism and the responsibilities of those who choose to walk the priestess path. I’m also going to talk about white privilege and the role that white women must play in combating white supremacy.

Why are we so afraid to be Wild Mystic Women?

Why are we so afraid to be Wild Mystic Women?

Why are we so afraid to be Wild Mystic Women?

Because the world fears wildness, mysticism and women.

And it has taught us to fear ourselves, too.

Over the past year or so I have done a lot of inner work to excavate, revive, heal, reclaim, integrate and rebirth my inner Wild Mystic Woman.

I have read countless books and articles on the Divine Feminine and feminist spirituality. Each lunar cycle I have carried out rituals of releasing and healing. I have hired energy healers and spiritual mentors to support me through reiki, Akashic records sessions, card readings, flower essences and healing my relationship with money. Hell, I even became an energy healer so I could do the work for myself!

I have worked with archetypes to help me access parts of myself I had forgotten. I have done an incredible amount of work on healing my mother wound and my relationship with my mother.

I have cried rivers of tears that fully acknowledge the grief, rage, shame and unworthiness I have carried around with me all my life.

I have told my unapologetic truths both to myself and to community. I have read and written poetry to help me honour my darkness and remember my light. I have worked with the cards everyday to help my tune into my own intuitive guidance. I have meditated my way back to presence.

I have prayed and prayed for my words and my work to be of service.

I have done my inner soulwork and my outer soul's work in devotion to the truth of my inner Wild Mystic Woman.

And yet I can still find myself crying on the bathroom floor.

Feeling misunderstood, feared and ashamed of being a Wild Mystic Woman in a world that misunderstands, fears and shames wild mystic women.

Why those '6 figure' business coaches are failing you

Why those '6 figure' business coaches are failing you

Note: This post was originally written by me on 5th April 2016 and published on my previous website LaylaSaad.com. This article has been shared on Facebook thousands of times and was a catalyst for my own Wild Mystic Woman journey. As I have now taken down that website, I am migrating this viral article here as I know it has served as soul business medicine for so many soulful entrepreneurs. I pray it serves you too.

Layla xo

Maybe I'm Ok As I Am

Maybe I'm Ok As I Am

Maybe this unexplained force
which takes me to the depths
of my darkness and pain
Is the same divine force
that gives me the capacity
to hold so much power and light.

Maybe my fears and anxieties
give me empathy and wisdom.

Maybe my dark days
help me shine brighter in the night.

Maybe my emotional wounds
teach me how to love right.

Maybe I'm not broken.
Maybe I don't need to be fixed.

Shall We Dance?

Shall We Dance?

The vastness of my soul
often does not match up with
the smallness of my fears.

And so I live everyday with this
constant back-and-forth rhythm.

This reliable up-and-down beat
which has me dancing around the
perimeter of my power.
Sometimes deep inside.
Sometimes far outside.

As I expand I think:
I am beautiful! I am magnificent!
As I contract I think:
I am less than ordinary. I am delusional.

As I rise I say:
I can create whatever I put my mind to!
As I fall I say:
I am incapable of even leading myself.

As I ascend I believe:
My soul has a unique & importance purpose.
As I descend I believe:
I am unworthy of living that purpose.

And so we dance this dance,
My soul, my fears and I.
My soul ecstatically dancing
for my power
My fears mournfully dancing
for my unworthiness
And I, the observer.
Sometimes dancing with this story,
sometimes dancing with that.

Maybe this is what it is to be human.

Maybe it is about dancing this holy dance
of up and down
back and forth
inside and outside
expand and contract
rise and fall
ascend and descend.

Round and round and round.

Trying to find the beauty
of where our humanity
and our divinity
can find love
within each other.

Lady Of The Water

Lady Of The Water

Today I walked into the water
and swam far out into Mama Ocean
and asked her to cleanse me
of my fears, and purify my tears.

I prayed in the water:
O Beloved Divine
release me from these patriarchal bonds
that claim Good Girls
don't lust for life,
or desire pleasure,
or crave sensuality,
or take up space
with their wild self-expression.

Peel back these lies that insist
Good Girls must
cover up their bodies,
and restrain their hungers,
and tone down their voices,
and question their inner wisdom.

Dissolve these falsities that say
Good Girls must
hide, limit, dilute and apologise for
the power of their minds, bodies
and souls.

Mama Ocean listened calmly,
lovingly, as I prayed with desperation
to be released from my pain.
She held me as I sobbed
and choked on my fears.
She listened patiently
with the greatest compassion.

And then she sent me
the most beautiful divine sign
that my soul had been heard
and my prayers were being answered.

She then laughed softly, and whispered:
My darling daughter, you can relax now.
You can let go.
You can be free.
Mama's got you.
You can expand into your full being.
You won't explode from getting too big.
You'll just grow closer
and closer
and closer
to me.

I laughed in awe and great relief,
wiping away my holy tears.
Then I shouted back to her in delight:
Thank you Mama, thank you!
That's all I've ever wanted!

Freeing The Caged Bird

Freeing The Caged Bird

I was taught from a young age
to doubt my art
to hide my body
to lower my voice
to limit my power.

Is it any wonder I have feared
my self-expression all these years?

Is it any surprise I now crave it
with this wild hunger?

Do You See Me?

Do You See Me?

What is it about
speaking our truth
that is at once both
frightening and exciting?

It is the possibility
of being seen.

Truly.
Seen.

And not just for our
shadows and the fears
that we keep so hidden
in the dark.

But for our Power, too.
For our dazzling light
and our undeniable beauty.

And for the way that we dance
this sacred dance of
Shadow and Light.
Light and Shadow.
One no less worthy
of love than the other.

Both needed
for wholeness.

This is the risk
and the opportunity
of living in truth.

The question is,
Are you ready to See yourself?

The Choice

The Choice

I can be exhausted
and pretend to be perfect,
or I can surrender
and actually be real.
.
I'm choosing real.
Perfection is an act of
violence against my soul.

The Unveiling

The Unveiling

Underneath the many
wounds, fears and untruths
that cover your heart,
sits the centre of your Be-ing.
Your sacred Light and Dark.
The You
that is fully and
unapologetically
You.

Your divine assignment?
To peel back,
burn down
and offer up
all of the masks
that hide this truth.
So that your Sovereignty
may finally be
Unveiled.

The Assignment

The Assignment

Inwards. Downwards.
The High Priestess
continues to beckon me.

She doesn't flip my life
upside down
the way Kali did.

Her way does not ask
me to burn my life
down to the ground
and start over.

She simply asks me to
s u r r e n d e r.

To slow down.
To draw my energy
Inwards. And Downwards.
To focus on doing less things
and being in fewer places.

She invites me to
shut out the noise
and tune out the frenzy.
To step away from the
manic highway of
the creative outer world,
and melt into my
creative inner sanctum. 
Everything She's sharing
with me is an invitation.
Her way is not to force or push.
She says to me,
'Take it or leave it. It's upto you.' But She does have one
non-negotiable
Divine assignment for me.
Just one.
This is all She asks.

It's only three words.
Three words that could
change my life.

Want to hear it?
Here it is:
Write the book. 

Inwards, Downwards

Inwards, Downwards

I am being called.
Not out into the world
on an exciting adventure.
But inwards, downwards.

Into the dark depths of a
heart-breaking
ego-shattering
eye-opening
mind-bending
bone-gathering
shakti-awakening
truth-embodying
Soul Initiation.

Meeting Myself

Meeting Myself

I am reaching.
For the woman I am becoming.
For the woman I've always been.
For the woman who lies underneath
all these layers.

I am reaching for Her.
And She's reaching right back.
And soon, very soon,
We'll meet somewhere
in the middle.

The Spiritual Journey Of Going Viral

The Spiritual Journey Of Going Viral

Dear Sister,

I cried before I was able to write this letter.

I cried tears of gratitude, exhaustion, awe and relief. I cried and whispered to the Divine two holy words, over and over again:

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

What’s so significant about today? Why the tears?

Today marks the one-year anniversary of publishing this article on 6 figure business coaches and promptly ‘going viral’.

Let Goddess

Let Goddess

Remember in your early 20s
when you suffered from
anxiety and depression?
And that dark, scared,
stagnant energy was always
stuck in your body,
but you didn't know
how to get it out?

You would smoke.
And party.
And be reckless
with your safety,
your education,
and your health.

You would stay up all night
staring into the abyss,
praying for the ground
to just swallow you up
into the darkness
so that you wouldn't have
to feel that pain anymore.

You would listen to
sad songs on repeat
hoping that somehow
you could vicariously
get those emotions
out of your body
by hearing an artist
emote theirs.

You tried everything
except the thing your
mind, body and soul
needed most:

To surrender
and allow yourself to
fully feel all of your emotions.

You never gave yourself
permission to sob
like you were dying inside.
Permission to roar
like you were raging.
Permission to stomp and stamp
like you were fighting for your life.

You kept trying to
rationalise your pain
instead of feeling it.

You kept trying to
question your pain
using logic as your sword,
instead of your
body's natural instincts.

It's now a decade later
and you've learned
this important lesson:
that pain, sadness and rage
cannot be bargained with.

They are jealous lovers
and will not be satiated
until you have allowed them
to course through your body
unimpeded and unjudged.

So now,
you welcome the holy tears
the holy roaring and the holy
stomping and stamping.

You say to your body,
"Show me how to move
these energies through you.
Show me how to transform
this chaos into calm.
Show me how to not be afraid
of the power of my own emotions."

And your body,
grateful that you have finally
learned to trust Her says,
Give them all to me, Dear One.
You don't have to 'do'
anything, except let go
and let Goddess.

Message From La Luna

Message From La Luna

Look up in the night sky.
Do you see my light?
Do you feel the radiance
of my midnight magic?

I am here.
Without permission
or validation.
Unapologetic in my
Divine Feminine power.

Now it's your turn.
Are you ready?
We are ready for you.

Shine magic.
In your fullness.
Like this.

Beam truth.
In your fullness.
Like this.

Blaze love.
In your fullness.
Like this.

Yes my darling,
just like this.

Do It Scared

Do It Scared

I wish I could say
that I don't suffer from anxiety
I'm not scared everyday
I'm not making it up as I go along
I'm not often at war with myself.

I wish I could say
that I'm always serene
always at ease with myself
never unhappy for no reason
never self-sabotaging.

I wish I could say
that I don't forget my power
I don't lose my centre
I don't get caught up in worry
I don't let my fears take over.

I wish I could say
that I am the
living embodiment
of the Divine Woman
I know myself to be
every single day.

But it's just not true.

I suffer. I cry.
I freeze up from fear.
I get stuck. I get lost.
I lose myself for days.

But what I'm learning
on this journey
is that I can be both
broken and beautiful
scared and strong
worried and wise.

I'm learning that I can feel
fearful and fierce
confused and courageous
panicked and powerful
unworthy and unlimited.

I am all of these things
and I don't need to wait
for the tough feelings to pass
for me to do my sacred work.

I'll do it scared.

And I'll remind myself
day after day
that 'scared' is the way
the most courageous
heroines and heroes
have ever done it. 

She Is Mother

She Is Mother

Gymboree class.
School pick up.
Homework.
Toddler nap time.
Toilet training.
Dinner time.
Family time.
Writing.
Editing.
Social media.
Children's bed time.

And now? Silence. Solitude. She time.

Tomorrow we begin again:
family, writing, business.
The sacred and mundane life
of being both
an ordinary human being,
and a soul on fire. 
But right now, as we approach midnight,
it's just me and Her.
My Wild Mystic Woman.

She soaks up my presence.
As I do Her's.

She fills my cup.
Reassures my heart.
And fortifies my inner strength.

She pours Divine love onto me
and into me,
and cradles me
while I surrender to the sweet repose
of Her nurturing arms,
and the fierce protection
of Her never-ending wings.

In my human life
I am a mother,
and I have a mother.
And both of these roles
are gifts from the Divine.

But in my soul life,
She is Mother.

The Great Mother.

Her nourishment
accessible to all of us - any time and all times
we call upon Her,
and get still enough
to receive Her love.

When I am here
with Her,
there is no place to go.
No-one who needs me.
No-thing that needs to be done.

No-where to be
except here.
In this moment.
Right now.

After a long day
of being human,
I savour this time
of melting into Her.

I take great pleasure
in allowing Her
to hold space and love for me,
the way I have held space and love
for everyone whose path
I have crossed today.

Tomorrow we begin again:
The sacred and mundane life
of being both
an ordinary human being,
and a soul on fire. 
But right here.
Right now.
I rest.

And She
mothers
me.

Soul Speak

Soul Speak

My fear says, Shrink.
You're taking up too much space.

My soul says, Keep expanding.
The world will learn to make space for you.

My fear says, Quieten down.
Your voice is making others uncomfortable.

My soul says, Speak up louder. And more often.
You've been quiet for far too long.

My fear says,
Doubt yourself.
You've always been such a disappointment.

My soul says, Believe in yourself.
You have far more potential inside of you
than you can ever know.

My soul speaks:

I am here.
I am with you.
I've got your back.
I won't ever let you down.

Now speak.
Be seen.
Show up.

Break the cycle
that has kept you
small and quiet.

Defy the voice
that has convinced you
of your unworthiness. 

Insist on your existence.
Insist on your magnificence.