Do It Scared

A poem by Layla Saad

   Image Credit: Drew Coffman

Image Credit: Drew Coffman

I wish I could say
that I don't suffer from anxiety
I'm not scared everyday
I'm not making it up as I go along
I'm not often at war with myself.

I wish I could say
that I'm always serene
always at ease with myself
never unhappy for no reason
never self-sabotaging.

I wish I could say
that I don't forget my power
I don't lose my centre
I don't get caught up in worry
I don't let my fears take over.

I wish I could say
that I am the
living embodiment
of the Divine Woman
I know myself to be
every single day.

But it's just not true.

I suffer. I cry.
I freeze up from fear.
I get stuck. I get lost.
I lose myself for days.

But what I'm learning
on this journey
is that I can be both
broken and beautiful
scared and strong
worried and wise.

I'm learning that I can feel
fearful and fierce
confused and courageous
panicked and powerful
unworthy and unlimited.

I am all of these things
and I don't need to wait
for the tough feelings to pass
for me to do my sacred work.

I'll do it scared.

And I'll remind myself
day after day
that 'scared' is the way
the most courageous
heroines and heroes
have ever done it. 

Layla Saad